Halloween Jokes : Humor is very subjective; this is very true to everyone who tries to crack a joke. The interesting thing is that there is an awkward feeling that hits us mercilessly whenever we flop. We know it instantly when we land, hit, kill the funny bone.
Halloween Jokes
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Why did the witch give up fortune-telling?
She saw no future in it.
What’s the problem with twin witches?
You can never tell which witch is a witch.
What’s a witch’s favorite funfair ride?
The scary-go-round.
What is a witch’s favorite item of make-up?
Mas-scare-a.
What do you get to learn at witch school?
Spelling.
What do you call a witch who goes to the beach?
A sand-witch!
What do the fastest witches use to get around?
Vroom-sticks.
Why won’t a witch wear a flat cap?
Because there’s no point in it.
Why is a witch like a candle?
They are both wicked to the core.
Who do celebrity vampires get letters from? From their fang club.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone Appetit!
When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella? When he’s at Starbucks.
Where do werewolves store their things? At a were-house.
What is a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffins.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? Because he was all wrapped up in himself.
Why wouldn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating? Because it didn’t have the guts.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite pasta?
Elbow macaroni.
Why did the skeleton tell so many jokes?
She loved ribbing on people.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite movie?
Jaws.
Why didn’t the skeleton take any chances?
She didn’t have the guts.
What does a vampire like to do in the winter?
Give frostbites.
Why did the wizard fall over?
He had a dizzy spell.
Why did the zombie ask for help?
He had a grave problem.
What do witches eat for breakfast?
Bagels with scream cheese.
Why did the zombie go to the butcher?
She was craving spare ribs.
Why did the vampire get put in time out?
He was being a pain in the neck.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
What is a mummy’s favorite sandwich? A head cheese wrap.
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-Geist.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the dead sea.
Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have two beers and a mop.
What is one room you won’t find in a ghost’s house? A living room.
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? To get a booster shot.
What did the ghost say when it fell? I got a boo boo.
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Ma-scare-a.
When do ghosts like to go trick or treating? In the moaning.
How do ghosts do their makeup? They use vanishing cream.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Where do baby ghosts go while their parents work? Day-scare.
What is a ghost’s favorite ride? A roller ghost-er.
How does a ghost sneeze? Ah, ah, ah BOO!
How do you know a skeleton is sick? He’s coffin.
What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween? Winnie the Boo!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-BONE!
What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream at zombies.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Boo hoo, don’t make a ghost cry.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Creep. Creep who? Creep it down, you’ll wake the dead.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery scary ghost! Run!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? A zombie with a cold.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eddy. Eddy who? Eddy-body will do for a zombie.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen do you think Halloween will be here?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al go home after trick-or-treating.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood, blah!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean waiting for Halloween all year long.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
Do you know any skeleton jokes? Yes, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Where did the skeleton keep his money? In the crypt-o market.
What kind of art do skeletons like? Sculptures.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? “You sure are boo-tifo!”
Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Boutiques!
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoulie!
What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
Why is a cemetery the best place to write a story? Because it has so many plots!
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!
What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultry Geist.
Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
Why do ghosts love going to Six Flags? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-errs.
How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
THANKS FOR VISITING 🙂