Dirty Jokes : Humor is very subjective; this is very true to everyone who tries to crack a joke. The interesting thing is that there is an awkward feeling that hits us mercilessly whenever we flop. We know it instantly when we land, hit, kill the funny bone.
Dirty Jokes
Is your name Dunkin? Because I donut want to spend another day without you.
Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pauline. Pauline who? I think I’m Pauline in love with you.
Call me Shrek because I’m head ogre heels for you!
You’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s out of business.
Why was the rabbit so upset? He was having a bad hare day!
If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-RITTO.
Even though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.
What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker!
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? Because it might crack up!
What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport? Basket-ball!
How do rabbits keep their fur neat? They use a hare brush!
What’s a rabbit’s favorite movie? The Hare-ry Potter series!
How does the Easter Bunny avoid traffic? He takes the eggs-press lane!
How did the chocolate bar apologize? It said, “I’m sorry for being a little nutty!”
What did one egg say to the other? “You tell too many yolks!”
What did the shocked bee say to the beekeeper? “I can’t bee-lieve my eyes!”
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Together, we can stop this crap.”
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the street? It got stuck in a crack.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? To look for Pooh!
What did one toilet say to the other? “You look flushed!”
How do you help a constipated person? You scare the poop out of them.
What did one fly say to the other? “Is this stool taken?”
What’s big, brown, and behind the wall? Humpy’s Dump.
Did you hear about the film Constipated? It never came out.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Salad Shooter.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A dick-tater!
What did the egg say to the boiling water? “Sorry, it’s going to take me a second to get hard. I just got laid by some chick!”
What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? No one. They both eat out.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. But you have to wonder how they got in there.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? “It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?”
What does a DNA helicase and a teenage boy have in common? They both just want to unzip your genes.
What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit.
Is “buttcheeks” all one word? Or should I spread them apart?
What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!
Why don’t little girls fart?
They don’t get assholes til they’re married.
What do you do when your cat’s dead?
Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?
A dictator.
Wanna hear a joke about my dick?
Never mind. It’s too long.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
My neighbor is mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter.
Why did the snowman suddenly smile? He could see the snowblower coming.
What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.
Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry.
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
What did Winnie the Pooh say to his new love interest?
Show me the honey.
How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?
They grabbed him by the jewels.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.
Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle. Want to hear a clean joke? The white horse took a bath.
What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Steamboats.
What’s 6 inches long and has 2 nuts at the end?
An Almond Joy.
Why did the male chicken wear underwear on its head?
Because its pecker was on its face.
Can I watch TV?
Yes, but don’t turn it on.
Why did the ranch blush?
He saw the salad dressing.
What’s hot, pink and wet?
A pig in a hot tub.
THANKS FOR VISITING 🙂